The Leisurely Detour On The B Roads

The Leisurely Detour On The B Roads is the seventh episode of Sponge Reaper, this is the longest episode of the first season and the episode that Ghastlyop kept under wraps.

Transcript
[SpongeBob gives Rukia a drink from a Chinatown market part of Bikini Bottom.]

SpongeBob: Go and have this drink. Please?

Rukia: I'd rather have a water.

SpongeBob: You are going to love it. One, two, three!

Rukia: Oh, that was actually lovely.

[They carry on through the market. Rukia is haggling with another stallholder so SpongeBob explores on his own. A young woman in a black and gold robe calls to him.]

Fortune Teller: Tell your fortune, sir. The future predicted. Your life foretold.

SpongeBob: Oh, no thanks. Fortune Teller: Don't you want to know if you're going to be happy?

SpongeBob: I'm already happy right now, thanks.

Fortune Teller: You're a sponge. The reading's free for sponges.

SpongeBob: Okay, all right, then.

[In the tent, the young woman looks at SpongeBob's palms.]

Fortune Teller: Oh, you fascinating. No, but you good. I can see a woman. The most remarkable woman. How did you meet her? SpongeBob: No, but you're supposed to tell me.

Fortune Teller: I see the future. Tell me the past. When did your lives cross? SpongeBob: It's sort of complicated. I ended up in a meeting with a explosion around a month ago.

Fortune Teller: But what led you to that meeting?

SpongeBob: All sorts of things. But my job, I suppose. I had this job as a fry cook. I was a fry cook at a place called The Krusty Krab.

[SpongeBob has an intense flashback. It makes him sway.]

SpongeBob: Woah. Sorry.

Fortune Teller: It's the incense. Just breathe deep. This job of yours. What choices led you there? SpongeBob: There was a choice, during Christmas, because the Agency offered me this contract back with the Krusty Krab after it exploded.

[FLASHBACK: Christmas 2014.]

SpongeBob [voiceover]: But there was this other job. My best friend knew this man.

Patrick: Lebron, he's called Lebron James. He runs a basketball club.

SpongeBob: I've got a job.

Patrick: As a fry cook. This is permanent, it's one thousand a year, SpongeBob.

SpongeBob: The Krusty Krab. It's nice, it's okay, so stop it.

[FLASHBACK ENDS: Back in the fortune teller's tent]

Fortune Teller: Your life could have gone one way or the other. What made you decide? SpongeBob: I just did.

[Our point of view is something small sneaking up behind SpongeBob.]

Fortune Teller: But when was the moment? When did you choose?

[FLASHBACK: Inside Patrick's car.]

[SpongeBob is at a junction, waiting to turn onto the main road.]

Patrick: It won't take long. Just turn right. We'll pop in and see Mister James, so his best friend can introduce you.

SpongeBob: I'm going left. If you don't like it, get out and walk. Patrick: If you turn right, you'll have a career, not just filling in.

SpongeBob: You think I'm really so useless.

Patrick: Oh, I know why you want a job at The Krusty Krab, sir. Because you think you'll meet a woman with lots of money and your whole life will change. Well let me tell you. City bosses don't need re-hires, except for more practice.

SpongeBob: Yeah. Well, they haven't met me right now. [Back at the Fortune teller's tent] Fortune Teller: You turned left. But what if you turned right? What then? SpongeBob: Let go of my hands. Fortune Teller: What if it changes? What if you go right? What if you could still go right? SpongeBob: Just stop it, it doesn't matter anymore. [Something jumps onto SpongeBob's back.]

SpongeBob: What's that? What's on my back? What is it? What, what's on my back?

Fortune Teller: Make the choice again, SpongeBob SquarePants, and change your mind. Turn right. [A hooked claw reaches to SpongeBob's shoulder.]

SpongeBob: I'm somehow turning for no reason.

FORTUNE TELLER: Turn right. Turn right. Turn right!

[FLASHBACK: Still in the car]

Patrick: Well let me tell you. City bosses don't need re-hires, except for more practice.

SpongeBob: Yeah. Suppose you're just damn right.

Fortune Teller [Voice-Over]: Turn right, and never meet that woman. Turn right, and change the world.

[SpongeBob turns right.]

[Back at SpongeBob's house - February 2015, Morning]

[Everyone in the house is in their same jobs except SpongeBob who's going out to the Bikini Bottom Gym. This conversation takes place in the middle of Becometh The Shinagami]

TV Reporter: The incident occurred just outside of Katakura station just after 7.30am, as the morning commute was getting into full swing. Witnesses reported hearing a loud crash and feeling the ground shake beneath their feet. The entire area has been cordoned off.

SpongeBob: That's near here, But I'm going the other way into town. I'll see you guys normal time.

[He walks out of the house to go right into the town but he ends up on the other side of the town, where the gym is usually located. While he's walking to his destination, he hears a explosion from the DownTown on the left street of SpongeBob's house.]

SpongeBob: I can't really do anything about that.

[A blonde woman in Soul Reaper robes runs down, it's Ruby Kuropato but SpongeBob does not know this.] Ruby: What happened? What did they find? I'm sorry, did they find someone?

SpongeBob: I don't know. I don't work on that side of town, sorry.

Ruby: Well, where is she?

SpongeBob: This person you've mentioned. She's got to be dead by now. I'm sorry, did you know her? I mean, the TV report didn't say his name. Could be any woman.

Ruby: I came so far.

SpongeBob: It, it could be anyone.

Ruby: What's your name?

SpongeBob: SpongeBob. And you?

Ruby: Oh, I was just passing by. I shouldn't even be here. This is wrong. It's wrong. This is so wrong. Sorry, what was it? SpongeBob what?

SpongeBob: Why do you keep looking at my back?

Ruby: I'm not.

SpongeBob: Yes, you are. You keep looking behind me. You're doing it now. What is it? What's there? Did someone put something on my back?

(SpongeBob tries to look at his own back, and Ruby disappears.)

SpongeBob: Damn woman. Must have been really a person to care about.

[Back at Home - 21:47pm. The end events of Episode 1 are playing out.]

SpongeBob: Err... I dunno what to do now. I'm bored as hell.

[SpongeBob hears another explosion outside, he looks through his windows in his bedroom.]

SpongeBob: Why is there always explosions around me? I've done nothing to these recent events.

[There's a hollow outside being done up by Rukia only.]

SpongeBob: Oh god, I need a break.

[The aftermath events of Episode 1 play out over the next day.]

SpongeBob: Thank god that crazy black haired woman was done before this morning arrived. Right, time to work!

[SpongeBob is given a fax letter by Lebron, You're Fired.]

SpongeBob [angry]: You can't fire me! I'm one of your best players!

Lebron: But I'm sorry, SpongeBob. It's just with us losing players every week due to the bombings, we can't continue - so they're going to let us go.

[SpongeBob knows this.]

SpongeBob: Can I collect my belongings?

Lebron: Yes, you're having to anyways.

[SpongeBob collects his basketball uniform, cheerleading uniform and raffle tickets. As he is walking home, Ruby is running again from a street corner.]

SpongeBob: It's you. Again. I met you on Saturday.

Ruby: SpongeBob. Isn't it? How have you been?

SpongeBob: Meh... Got fired from my job, wait. Why am I telling you this?

Ruby: What are you going to do this weekend?

SpongeBob: Why are you asking that?

Ruby: Maybe you should go somewhere else.

SpongeBob: We've got no money.

Ruby: You've got that raffle ticket.

SpongeBob: How do you know about that?

Ruby: It's sticking out of your pocket, Not easy to miss.

[SpongeBob puts the raffle ticket lower in his pocket.]

Ruby: Just try it.

[SpongeBob ignores Ruby, she runs forward in the way she is now.]

[FAST FOWARD: Saturday... Outside Bikini Bottom.]

SpongeBob: That raffle was lucky.

Patrick: Too lucky.

SpongeBob: Don't blame me!

Patrick: Getting no job is making me blame you.

SpongeBob: Stop it.

Patrick: You would like that, wouldn't you?

SpongeBob: Wait? You're not going to stop it?

Patrick [chuckles]: Maybe.

[The hotel is a posh place, expensive enough that SpongeBob's raffle ticket could get the money to pay for it.]

Patrick: Oh, so that was what we won.

SpongeBob [sarcastically]: No, we got the on suite next door.

[Patrick stops the boat, to get the stuff. Once they have moved in, Patrick and SpongeBob get a suite on their own, with the other two in another one. This is about 5 hours later then after packing.]

SpongeBob: How was the nap?

Patrick: Actually, I needed that.

SpongeBob: I might have as well.

[SpongeBob is watching the news - the story is Wild Train, Out Of Order!]

SpongeBob: I'm going out for a walk.

Patrick: See you when you come back in.

SpongeBob: Okay.

[He goes out of the hotel and behind it. Ruby is back, trying to hide.]

SpongeBob: I know you are there, woman.

Ruby: Good, because I need you for a thing. Oh and call me Ruby.

SpongeBob: You have got to be kidding.

Ruby: Just come with me, but I've got to warn you. Utter one more bloody quote and I'll slice you like mincemeat.

[They walk to a base near the hotel, the train from Episode 4 explodes.]

Ruby: Don't... worry about that.

SpongeBob: But Lebron.

Ruby: Was rescued by a hook.

SpongeBob: Okay. So, where the hell is this place?

Ruby: Old UNIT base. UNIT standing for United Nations Intelligence Taskforce. They search aliens. We're helping them detect whatever the hell is going on with...

[She points at a blue police box.]

Ruby: An old friend of both UNIT and the Soul Society left it here, but for some reason.

[A row of mirrors are in front of them.]

Ruby: Go into the center. There is a creature on your back that only advanced life forms like me can only see.

[Lights come on as SpongeBob goes into the center.]

SpongeBob: What does it do to you?

Ruby: It feeds off time, by changing time. By making someone's life take a different turn, like er, meetings never made, children never born, a life never loved. But with you, it's because one day, you made the simple mistake of turning right than left.

SpongeBob: Do whatever you can to take me back to that day.

Ruby: How the???

SpongeBob: Once I looked at the Tardis, I knew you were going to make me go back to the day that I turned the other way.

Ruby: Okay then, all I need to do is power it up.

[Ruby runs into the console and starts to power it up and send SpongeBob, she then pulls the dematerlise lever. This sends sparks flying through wires to the mirrors. SpongeBob lands in...]

[NEAR THE T-JUNCTION. SpongeBob runs near to the car, but gives up. A car is heading near him.]

SpongeBob: Goodbye.

[The future self is run over, Ruby comes into him.]

Ruby [whispers]: Rukia left, she's going back home.

[SpongeBob's past self gets annoyed.]

SpongeBob [Past]: Well, that decides it. I'm not sitting in a traffic jam. I'm going left, left, left, Left.

[Key events rewind, then the beetle drops from her back.]

SpongeBob: What the hell is that? Fortune Teller: You were so strong. What are you? What will you be? What will you be?

[She runs through the back of the tent.]

SpongeBob: So, beetles are my enemy? But what about...

Ruby [whispers from the alternate universe.]: Rukia left, she's going back home.

SpongeBob: RUKIA!

[TO BE CONTINUED.]